Tuesday, October 18, 2005

Friendship: Stretching the Limits

Recently something happened and the only good thing about it was that it was an “incident” and hence a change in my dull and boring existence. But apart from this fact, all it led to was some bad taste and some unanswered questions.

As the details would be very cumbersome and uninteresting, the summary goes like this – There is this guy whom I’ve known from 17 years (74% of my life time, actually a lot). For all this time we had been “friends”. Wouldn’t like to say that we were “good” friends, but still we managed to maintain a decent relationship with some hiccups along the road. Somehow, the trust that a faithful relationship demands was never there, at least from my side. Thanks to the disproportion between the guy’s mouth and the substance within. But somehow I never revolted. May be because I wanted to be politically correct all the time and wanted to keep everyone around happy. Also I never let the guy feel what went in my mind which according to me gave him the impression that we are like inseparable “Siamese” twins.

Anyways, the life was cruising the way it used to be when something really disgusting happened. During my time of need, I was totally disappointed by my “friend”. I was totally shocked as to how much can someone bluff. Then I started questioning my own patience and self-esteem as to what extent can they be stretched. With some limited experience in my life I’ve learnt a few things, a couple of which can be described by the following quotes. I apologize for not providing the author’s names because I can’t remember them as of now.

“I don’t know the key to happiness. But I sure do know that the key to unhappiness is to try and keep everyone happy”

“You cheat me once, shame on you; you cheat me twice, shame on me”

Finally, after a lot of thought and consideration, I decided to call the relationship off. In the process I ended up hurting not only the person concerned but also a lot of common friends. I have been called “harsh” and “aggressive” which I do feel might be true. Indeed the step I took was extreme but still I’m convinced that the situation called for it. It wasn’t very easy for me to do this and I’m very much aware of the pain I’ve caused to the person concerned. I do feel sorry for him and blame myself as to why I created this web of illusion in the first place. But I guess, everyone has to pay for his mistakes during their time on earth and we both have paid a hefty price.

The important questions arising from this episode are – Should there be any limits to friendship? If yes, how far they can be stretched? Is it better to keep a hollow relationship by keeping silent or to break it by being vocal and true to your feelings? After all, shouldn’t friendship be all about symbiosis? Is there any room for parasitism? If yes, is it possible to draw a “Lakshman Rekha”?

I’m looking for answers. May be you can put me on the right track…….Think about it.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

I am wondering how come NO ONE puts comments on your blog! Why don't you write something about India! Or say, your philosophy about work and money and life... That might attract a few comments ;)

2:05 AM  

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